Men and Women are often frustrated when they are rebuffed in their efforts to engage with a love interest. Women regard themselves as being on the receiving end of dating – the man can ask, but the woman has to wait to be asked. So, Mr. Wonderful appears, and she goes for a ride on an emotional roller-coaster – all to no avail. Men tend to fall for the “game” rather than the girl. Chasing after a woman who doesn’t reciprocate can turn a man into an obsessive, unappealing, lovesick puppy. What woman is going to fall for him?
Not surprisingly, many people who don’t regard dating as an archaic mating ritual, seem to do better in the love stakes, and they don’t appear to have to try hard to attract partners. A report in Psychology Today claims that they do have some observable personality traits – they are independent, confident, contained, and un-needy. Here are some reasons why Cupid favors them:
They Don’t Chase
The misconception that for men dating is all about “The Chase” is still a popular meme even in the age of greater equality between the sexes. However, many men don’t want to be chased. Sorry ladies, but calling him twice a day, accompanied by frequent emailing and texting, may flatter him at first, but in the end he will be turned off! Non-chasers know that if a romantic prospect disappears, it’s not because they didn’t give hot pursuit, but because this is not the right person.
They Don’t Spend Time Trying to Make Someone Fall in Love with Them
They understand that such an infatuation will waste energy and just end up alienating the other person. They know that love can’t be forced and that the right someone will fall for them without them having to work at it.
They Give Love a Chance to Find Them
Their whole existence isn’t mortgaged to the dating game. Instead, they relax, pursue their daily activities, and get on with their lives. They believe that they are much more likely to meet an attractive person when they are not searching for them. Instead of chasing the opposite sex, they chase their dreams and ambitions or their bucket list. When a real love opportunity does arise, they don’t need an explanation, because it is the explanation.
They Don’t Sit Waiting for That Call
Ok, these days, people have their phones with them, but the principle is the same. They don’t dream that things will be different, lose sleep, and make themselves insane waiting for a three a.m. phone call. That text bubble can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. They look up from their phone and live their lives where they stand a real chance of finding that special someone.
They Don’t Cancel a Date with a Friend
They don’t immediately rush to cancel other plans when their love interest calls. They want a significant other who understands that they have friends outside of a romantic relationship and is not threatened by that.
They Don’t Put on an Act
They don’t gush to the other person about how awesome he or she is. A person who seems overly enthusiastic, too eager, or calls three times a day can end up seeming like an intruder in the other person’s space.
Is he an avid baseball fan but she’s never even been to a game? Does she like romantic movies but he despises them? Ok, some compromise is necessary here if the relationship is to flourish, but they don’t pretend that they are equally enthusiastic about whatever it is. Vive la difference!
They Engage in Activities that Interest Them
They realize that they are much more likely to meet a person with similar interests by, for example, joining a hiking club, a choir, a political campaign, or a debating society. They know that romantic relationships can develop from friendships made during mutually enjoyable pursuits. They focus on their growth in life which gives them an attractive air of confidence and makes them a better prospect for a life partnership.
When you do meet that special person, you won’t need to pursue them, because you’ll both want to walk side by side in the same direction.